Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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