glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
