I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
