If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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