I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
