She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Your penis caused this!
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
