I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
