I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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