I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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