try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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