We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
