what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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