I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
