Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
