Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
