What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
