Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I will pee on everything he values.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
