it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
