Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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