I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize