I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
