i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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