i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
