come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
