O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
