Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
