I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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