guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
