He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize