I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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