Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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