No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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