shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
