Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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