Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
