dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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