I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize