Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
