I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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