hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just blew my weed a kiss
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize