Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
