At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the day after is always just damage control
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
