I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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