I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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