We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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