Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
