i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
