am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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