just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
