hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
