Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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