i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
