margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
