We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
