I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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