dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
