Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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