3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
