the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
