i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
